Grief and Loss

We all experience loss in the course of our lives. Maybe it’s in the form of death. Maybe it’s in the form of divorce. Perhaps there is an injury that limits physical functionality, or maybe there is a loss of trust in the larger world around us.


Whatever the loss you have experienced, it has usurped your hopes and dreams. It has separated you from love of one form or another. It has changed the landscape of your future. It has limited your life as you knew it. This limitation is something that cannot be fixed or made better. It is something you are asked to live with.


You may ask yourself, “How do people live this way?”, “How can I live this way?” This limited way of living is so foreign and inconceivable. It ushers in depression, fear, sadness. Acceptance of such a reality is impossible, unimaginable. You may shuffle through, find moments of grace and happiness, but the heaviness of loss still lives in your body, heart, and soul. It is a guest in your life that has taken up residence without invitation.


Loss is not something we can stop or reverse. It is something that changes us eternally, and it is this change therapy seeks to acknowledge and accompany.


  • Therapy begins by identifying and acknowledging the forging of grief’s elements, the mortified buried heaviness that comes to live in the deepest parts of us when we lose someone or something in our life.


  • It continues by knowing the indignation of grief’s intrusion and the rage of our resentment because we deserved better.


  • We begin to experience the fear that rises from underneath our tears of what we must live with, live without, or perhaps what we are afraid we might deserve to live with or without.


  • When our tears and our anger have been heard, we intentionally seek separation from old patterns of thought that have been exhausted, that have misinformed us and created fear.


  • When we are able to relinquish old patterns, we learn to re-acquaint ourselves with our resilient self that begins to lead us toward empowerment.


  • We chance new and hopeful ideas of how we can engage with life.


  • We solidify our new way of being with our loss in our world.


Grief travels through us, it has a life of its own. We must find the courage to be with grief, and mourn our loss, whether in death or in life.


You do not have to experience grief alone. If these words speak to you I invite you to reach out and share your grief story.


Ara O’Hayre