Trauma shocks us. When we first meet trauma we look it in the face, and we are stunned. In an instant we feel trauma’s pain. In this moment we are forced to know this pain, but then when the moment has passed we can’t know the pain any longer, it is too big, too much.
We tell ourselves it was our fault. We look for ways to be better, more loveable, or more worthy.
We tell ourselves it wasn’t as bad as it seemed. We try to see anything but the trauma; something that convinces us we are safe. Our minds hide away all that happened, and sometimes we even forget.
Our senses heighten, we begin to sense impending danger, and to survive we appease such danger. We give it whatever it asks for, hush our voices, and stop asking for what we need.
When the inevitable recurs, and pain reenters our experience, we endure….
We endure…… by cowering in shame
We endure…… by crying in isolation
We endure…… by allowing our minds to float away to another space and time.
The mind and the body have adopted beautiful ways of coping with trauma. All of these are ways to protect ourselves when we cannot or do not know how to leave trauma’s presence. When we must prevent ourselves from knowing trauma ever again.
In all of this there is no shame and it is not your fault.
Reaching out takes courage, this courage lives in your heart, it knows the way, trust yourself. You can endure the path of survival.
You can face buried memories, and you can integrate these into the fabric of your lived experience.
You can unlock the recurring loop of intense emotion you experience, and breathe a sigh of relief as your fears find comfort.
You can relinquish shame that does not belong to you.
You can recover your voice.
You can ask for and attain what you need.
If you would like someone to join you on your path toward survival I invite you to share your trauma story.